Brokenness

As I come back to my blog, once again, I am reminded of why I named it "Giving Up Alyssa" The last three years have been a journey of surrender. Giving myself up to God, His will, purpose and plan. I have come to find that surrendering to God is so sweet and freeing. I have nothing to try to hold on to any more; I am becoming free. Yet in this surrender I am finding much brokenness. I suppose the feelings I held back for year are now coming to the surface. There is a blessing in my tears; a release and a comfort that God is working in my heart. I remember a time when I could not cry. I was almost emotionless; I could only express anger. My anger pushed my further away from friends, family, and God. Yes, my tears remind me of what God freed me from. I am reminded of how much He loved me even when I turned away from Him. He protected me, He wouldn't let me go, His power healed my soul. I am thankful to God for His faithfulness. When I think of this I can only surrender myself even more. What else can I give to you, God?