He First Loved Me

I have been thinking the last two days about where my life could have been if God wouldn't have had His hand on my life. I have done some sinful things but God choose to love me and forgive me. He not only saved me from Hell and a live of destruction but God also saved me from myself. Funny, its nothing I have done but what He did while I was cursing Him. I love Him because He first loved me. I have been adopted into God's family. But my adoption story should end there....

At LEAD08, speaker Josh Otte talked about this very thing. His story brought me to tears. You can listen to the whole thing at atmospherechurch.com/media

Josh shared a story about his adoptive brother, Matthew. At only a few months old, Matthew was left abandoned in a train station in China. He was brought to an orphanage where he spent the first seven years of his life. Matthew is deaf and has a deformed arm (or something similar). Because of his age and disability I am sure the adults at the orphanage thought that Matthew would never have a home. But God....I love those words! But God had a home for Matthew! Josh Otte's mother, a single women of 5o, who already had a few adult children, was lead by God to adopt Matthew. Mrs. Otte communicates with Matthew through sign language and has showered her son with love. Matthew felt so loved that on day he said this to his mother, "Mom, can you go back to China and adopt my friends at the orphanage?" WOW, Matthew wanted his friends to experience the same love he felt as being an adoptive child.
Do I think this way?
God has adopted me and I have known and experienced His love. Why do I not ask Him, "Can you adopt my friends?" I know so many who don't know Him. Instead of sharing my gift I talk about petty things. How will they know if they do not hear? I am not scared to share my faith, I suppose I am plagued by apathy. I just don't think about sharing. My, what a terrible thing! I am sure too that I do not want to offend people...offend...is it offensive to throw someone a life jacket if they are drowning? I definitely need to start a new habit...sharing about God 's love everyday and intercede on that persons behalf.

When Love Takes You In

When Love Takes You In by Steven Curtis Chapman

I know you've heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You've heard about a place called home
But there doesn't seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you're sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When Love Takes You In by Steven Curtis Chapman
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
Cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in


I don't know the full background of this song, but I do know it was written by Steven Curtis Chapman. I am guessing it was written before the adoption of his first adoptive daughter. All I know is that I am reminded of this song often and I tear up when I hear it. One day God will give me the privilege of holding a little boy or little girl in my arms and I will tell them, "You belong here. I love you and Jesus loves you." I long to recapture a lost and broken child and give them a loving home where they can find healing in Christ's love. God knows my heart and I trust His timing. I am dreaming of a day when I can hold my child/ren close. Please pray with me as I pray for them.

Waiting for [St]eve

Last weekend I attended a conference and had an opportunity to talk with another single women like myself. She is a few years older than me so it was good to share about our struggles and triumphs that have come by being single in our twenties. This week as I reflected on our conversation I was thinking about "waiting". I am waiting on the Lord to provide the husband that He has created for me. I was consider the following story:

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it....Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them...But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him....And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man He made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh..."

God created Adam and gave him a calling to work and live in Eden. Yet, God said it was NOT good for Adam to be alone. So then God sends all the creatures to Adam for him to name. Can you imagine..here is Adam with the God-given desire to be with someone and ever creature God brings to him just doesn't fit. He had to wait, I imagine for a long time, while every animal passed by him. I can imagine the disappointment that Adam must have felt when he named the last creature. But God had something special for Adam. He created woman...tailored especially for Adam, to fit him perfectly so much so that the two could become one. When God gave Adam this gift, he was amazed. "This at last," he said, as he laid eyes on her for the first time.

Wow, what a great thing to look forward (as a person not made to be alone)! After all the waiting and watching all those who have passed by, at last God will send that one person who has been created especially for me (and I for him). And I am ok with waiting because how would Adam have known how special Eve was if he didn't know how unfitting the other creatures were. Waiting will help me appreciate my gift even more than if God were to give it to me now. Even more, as I wait upon the Lord, He is drawing me closer to Himself and He means more to me than any man could. I love God and I am thankful that He knows what is GOOD for me. So I wait for my "[St]eve" with hope and great expectation.

Brokenness

As I come back to my blog, once again, I am reminded of why I named it "Giving Up Alyssa" The last three years have been a journey of surrender. Giving myself up to God, His will, purpose and plan. I have come to find that surrendering to God is so sweet and freeing. I have nothing to try to hold on to any more; I am becoming free. Yet in this surrender I am finding much brokenness. I suppose the feelings I held back for year are now coming to the surface. There is a blessing in my tears; a release and a comfort that God is working in my heart. I remember a time when I could not cry. I was almost emotionless; I could only express anger. My anger pushed my further away from friends, family, and God. Yes, my tears remind me of what God freed me from. I am reminded of how much He loved me even when I turned away from Him. He protected me, He wouldn't let me go, His power healed my soul. I am thankful to God for His faithfulness. When I think of this I can only surrender myself even more. What else can I give to you, God?